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Hey Mum: And then he shat all over the carpet

Strange title? Maybe, but it’s true, it accurately reflects what took place today.

Our youngest is a mere 10 months old, he’s a beauty, a real cracker of a lad, but the poor bugger has been carrying a temperature for the last 24 hours now. So this leads to all sorts of interesting family dynamic changes as any of you parents will now.

Basically my wife was due to be working today, she is a primary school teacher, albeit in “supply” mode currently due to focusing on raising the kids. So at times like these we usually, and very gratefully rely on the grand parents, my mum in this case. So here is where the fun starts.

Mum is going on a lovely holiday this coming Sunday so we made a decision last night that we wouldn’t ask her to cover today as she could potentially pickup the germ that the lad has, he had started to be sick and doing an awesome job at projectile vomiting early yesterday evening. So we didn’t want my wife to not work either, cause we’re all about good relationships, so I decided to man the pumps for the day, I work for myself and ALL HOURS so I’m able to be flexible.

So wife was on duty yesterday evening with an ear on the boy while I was due to take over at 3am. Well the fella didn’t sleep well all night and sure enough at 3am he was on my chest trying to get some comfort and sleep. Bearing in mind I went to bed at midnight I wasn’t off to a splendid start to the day on three hours sleep, I mean fuck!! Sleep deprivation CHECK

Anyway, he crashed for a few hours and then I fed him a bottle  of milk about 5am, crashed again, and spectacularly threw that up with great might about 7am…  bed was soaked with vomit CHECK.

So now it’s 7:30am and the two older girls were up and ready for breakfast, down we go on the breakfast routine, boiled egg broke in the pan, egg white boiling over the pan CHECK.

Turn around and the lad had not only shit himself, but due to the liquid nature of it leaked a ton of it out of the side of the nappy. This was spread across the carpet in rather random pattern, smeared into the pile and layered onto several toys, probably over about a 6 foot area.. CHECK

Finally the girls get off in the school with the mrs, after 28 different requests to ensure teeth were brushed, hair brushed, breakfast eaten, shoes smart, tie straight, food money, book bag, coats on, socks, lost count here.. CHECK.

Things settled down after the hectic breakfast hour and I managed to beaver away as a house husband with great efficiency. I think I got through 6 washing machine loads, all out on the washing line and back in again and folded up including all the bed sheets towels etc. Swept the floor, did the dishes, tidied the lounge, toys away, another bottle made, fed the boy, put him to nap, ironed some shirts, cleaned the cooker..  and was like midday. I could go and on but I want to ask you one question:

Mums, how the fuck can you do this day in day out??